Lack of Symmetry in Facial Muscles of Musicians with Embouchure Dystonia

Can you see how my embouchure muscles are affected in each photo by the dystonia? 

Photo #1: Air leak in lower lip on left side, corner dropping, lower lip will not seal or stay rolled in. Whereas the right side functions normally. Left side of face is not as responsive, and right overcompensates.

Photo #2 & 3: When talking/speaking, right side/upper lip arches when left side doesn't.

This is a great example of the lack of symmetry that embouchure dystonia can create in the facial muscle function, and how it carries over to other activities outside of horn playing sometimes (not always in movement tasks, but in looks as well).

It can be confusing at first because the right side of my face has tremors and does a lot of movement when playing, when actually it is the left side that is the issue....even though it looks calm, it is the side that is the most dysfunctional and non-responsive.

What has always captured my attention is that several musician's I have met or spoken to with embouchure dystonia have the same type of lack of symmetry in their face. My family members even noticed it back then. This is something I feel a lot of us share and is the most brought up subject in conversation when meeting.

The lack of symmetry is actually common among dystonia sufferers in general. Check out this video of Dr. Farais (neurologist from Toronto) speaking about dystonia below. It is quite remarkable seeing the recoveries. But I wanted to share it because he talks about this commonality of lack of control on one side of the body, and the 3 primary areas it effects.

More Updates!

It's been a while since I've updated my blog! A lot has been happening so I'm mainly going to explain it all in photos!

First of all, I have posted a new video of my current horn playing on my facebook page Living with Embouchure Dystonia, and in the Focal Task Specific Embouchure Dystonia facebook group. You can see it here: https://www.facebook.com/embouchuredystonia/videos/1415994998449828/  . I filmed this at one of the music schools I teach at. I am warming up before my students arrive for the day.

I got to see an awesome friend, mentor, and professional horn player - Thomas Jostlein and his family again this summer! Like I've said in previous posts, I don't get to experience being in the horn playing world anymore since I'm not in an orchestra, and can't really speak to other horn players because I'm never around them. I can't explain how refreshing it is to speak to a horn player that doesn't look at me like an injured or diseased/cursed person, but instead still supports my success and boosts my confidence by reminding me that I can do it!...I can play and keep improving, and that what I am doing is good! Here are a few pictures from all the times we've got to catch up over the years.

 

I also got to meet Julie Landsman this year who is another huge inspiration to me. She said that she actually just recently donated to Dr. Itlis's Embouchure Dystonia research. It was great to hear her play with that beautiful gorgeous tone. Moved me and gave me so much inspiration.

I've started some artistic projects...check out all the drawings, wood stain art, wood burning art, and furniture refurbishing I've been up to:

This news doesn't necessarily have to do with me. But I wanted to post a picture of my twin sister. She had the opportunity to meet up with her former trumpet section this last year. Here is a photo with her former trumpet section mates: Philip and Natalie Dungey from Seattle. I am so proud of her and miss her trumpet playing! Ally and her husband have a photography business called Sweet Dahlia Photography which you can check out here: https://www.facebook.com/SweetDahliaPhoto/?pnref=lhc . They are based in Washington state and her husband also manages a music store and lesson studio! :-)

Example of Ally and Mario's photography work! :-)

Finally, last but not least. I've started my private lesson teaching again, including several contracts with a handful of music schools around the metro area, so pretty much concentrating on doing it full-time this year and will see how it goes. I haven't completely given up teaching in public schools though...I also teach high brass at Douglas County High School/DC Downbeat band program a couple times a week!

I am looking forward to all the creative and artistic work I'm doing! Please keep sending positive energy our way. I will do my best to keep my blog updated, but am pretty busy!....until next time....happy 2017-2018! May everyone be blessed! :-)

First Orchestra Concert in Six Years!

I had the honor of performing with the Longmont Symphony Orchestra in Colorado this last weekend. I took a risk and said yes to subbing for the 4th horn player, thinking that it would be doable with a couple easy pieces and one large more difficult piece.

But boy was I wrong about the programming! The concert included Pines of Rome, Enigma Variations, Daphnis & Chloe, and Strauss's Four Last Songs. There was transpositions in bass clef and old notation in some of the pieces and a tiny solo for 4th horn.

I had never been much of a low horn player, even before dystonia, I primarily held principal positions. It was too late to turn back now. Plus I had worked so hard and looked forward to such an opportunity for so long! I decided to prepare for it and hope for the best come rehearsal time. We only got two rehearsals and then the concert.

I was surprised that things went so well! I was so nervous about my dystonia kicking in during the long stretches of held notes throughout all of Strauss. I was scared that either spasms would violently through me off the notes (i.e. ending them abruptly), or I wouldn't have enough grasp on the notes to adjust my intonation if needed to (combined with using my right hand in the bell). But all the pieces turned out to be totally doable thanks to my mouthpiece that made things so much more comfortable.

I have been playing trumpet on a daily basis with my students. I have one class of literally 10 beginner trumpet players this year. For over a year now I've been having to play so many different instruments due to teaching; mainly flute, clarinet, oboe, trumpet, and trombone. On all of them I started out shaky, but my dystonia symptoms have receded a great deal over the year.

Trumpet is the one instrument I've spent the most amount of time playing. My dystonia symptoms are actually significantly less severe on trumpet than any of the other brass instruments. Luckily I own a french horn mouthpiece designed by a trumpet player (you can totally tell if you ever get the chance to look at it) and it looks like a trumpet mouthpiece almost. The rim is contoured like a trumpets, the body is funnel-shaped, but then it is a heavy and thick/dense mouthpiece. Probably as heavy as a trombone mouthpiece.

The feeling of the trumpet rim (it's A LOT of RIM!) on a horn mouthpiece has done a bit of sensory trick for me and my symptoms don't kick in as often. I can't play very much in the high range, but that's due to the mouthpiece and it's rim contour and thickness. However, my notes are stable.

Enough about my mouthpiece! Here are some photos from my first rehearsal. Both rehearsals and the concert went smoothly. I definitely needed that feeling of playing in an orchestra again. It was way over due. I took a risk because I knew I could do it, even if it took a lot of physical effort. I was very proud of how much progress I've made and that I'm able to perform even the slightest bit or every blue moon again. There have been so many days, months, and years missing playing with an orchestra, so even having the chance to relive it once again, just once, is a dream come true!

You're Never Alone

I had the greatest week! Last Sunday my friend and associate principal horn of the St. Louis Symphony visited Boulder to perform the Brahm's Horn Trio at the Boulder Bach Festival. My boyfriend and I went to watch his concert, and then Monday morning Thomas came and watched me teach kinder-violin at school. It meant a lot having him there, because none of my friends from out-of-state have seen me teach since I started my career, and not even my boyfriend has seen my teaching in action.

What I love most about this is that I realized in the last 3 years I've been able to see old friends more than I thought I would, and sometimes more than once. Every time a friend travels through Denver it's like time never passed between us.

I know everyone feels that way with friends, but for me it also brings back a reminder of my old self, my horn-playing self (basically when I felt like I had a definite fixed purpose or calling in life...not that teaching isn't, but the horn was my tool of expression...my voice). It gives me a sense of strength and confidence knowing that my past, my memories are not forgotten or faded inside after everything I've gone through....I guess I'm just happy that the fire burns even brighter inside me when I'm around friends.

I don't know if that makes. I feel relieved to have friends who get me and remain in contact despite the long distance, especially who have been supportive before I lost my ability, and after I lost my ability to play horn. I still can't believe time can go by so fast and yet, I feel as if yesterday I was playing my horn pursing my passion to be a horn professor.

I'm glad to have friends who continue to talk to me about horn playing and know that it's still a huge part of who I am and always will be, and who root me on to never give up hope. So often musician's with dystonia feel they lose a sense of themselves and who they are, and it is a huge struggle. In a way when I visit with friends I feel so much relief knowing that they had a equal impact and part in both my past and present (before I got dystonia, and after). I don't think they realize how important and meaningful that is to me that they've stuck around through thick and thin, and all the transformations my life has gone through.

Enough talking! I'm definitely rambling all over the place and not making sense. Here are some photos from the past week. I'm on vacation soon, and then participating in a research study on embouchure dystonia! But also happy to say I'll have more friends and relatives passing through during July and I'm excited for all the good things that happened and are to come. :-)

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